Lawyers have a nasty reputation as liars. Sadly, there are more than a few of us who do indeed lie, but there are also those of us who don’t. Lying, of course, comes in many forms: one can full-out make shit up; one can change minor details; one can lie through omission; and, I’m sure, there are other methods I can’t recall (like claiming ignorance when you do in fact remember).
Regardless of whether your lawyer is or isn’t a liar, you, as a client, should never lie to your lawyer. It is far, far better to share all the gruesome details than to try to appear less bad or to spin your case to your lawyer. Any attempt to manipulate your lawyer will only result in bad things for you.
For example, my firm uses an intake form to evaluate copyright infringement cases and one of the questions on that form asks where the work was posted online legitimately. Usually, potential clients answer that question fully but once in a while we’ll get someone who doesn’t share all the data. Sometimes it’s done accidentally (Oh, I forgot about that Facebook post) and sometimes deliberately (I didn’t tell you about the Facebook post because I don’t think it should matter). The difference between us not knowing that you posted your photo on your Facebook page (to continue the hypothetical) because it wasn’t known and you not sharing that info can make a significant difference in your case. If we take a case not knowing that you posted it on Facebook (when you knew) then the defendant provides the link where it does, we look like dorks and your strong negotiation position just got cut off at the knees.
There is no reason not to disclose fully to your attorney. We need to know the details, even if you think they don’t matter or they are embarrassing. We’re not judging you and, besides, we won’t tell. Remember, your communications with your attorney are protected by privilege (provided you don’t share the info with a third party yourself) so your attorney isn’t going to share the info and no one else can get it without your okay. For example, in answer to my question of “Why are you sure you didn’t turn over the image files on July 2 like they claim you did?” you could say, “I didn’t turn over the files on July 2 because on July 2 I spent the entire day in a drug-addled haze whilst cavorting with prostitutes–in fact, I ended up in the hospital after a monkey bit me during our circus-themed play” and all I’m going to share is “My client did not turn the files over on July 2.” If your lawyer ever shared anything you tell her, without your permission, that would violate the rules of ethics and that, for the attorney, would be very, very bad–we can lose our licenses even.
Another reason to be fully open with your attorney is that if you don’t tell us everything we can’t advise you well and, likely, you’ll end up spending more money than you needed to. You can save money in the long run by being totally open early.
So, while you may have been told “Answer the question asked and only the question asked” when dealing with a lawyer, that is for dealing with the other side’s lawyer, not yours. You and your lawyer should have an open, honest, communicative relationship.