I just did a podcast on this topic (if you have the BAP2Go app, you have it there) but I wanted to let readers in on part of this too. I’ve written and spoken out on fear and how it holds you back, several times, because it’s a biggie. We all have things we need to do but we avoid doing out of fear.
For many of you, business-wise, that thing is making “cold” calls. This is really too bad, because they are a crucial part of your marketing (and they aren’t really “cold” since you’re sending promos and emails, etc., right?). Maybe you are okay with calls, but you get the cold sweats at the thought of showing your book in person. Maybe you don’t even have a book because that way you can’t ever have to show it. Or maybe you are terrified of asking a slow payer to pony-up.
Whatever it is that you are afraid of, you have to do one thing to get better: you have to do whatever it is you fear. Avoidance actually makes the fear worse–you have to just do whatever it is, grit your teeth and do.
I am facing this reality personally: I have booked my first flight in decades. Many of you know I’m terrified of flying, but I’m going to do it, drug-free, in a couple of weeks. Time to get past this irrational phobia. I’m using tools to help get me past my fears, like breathing exercises and an iPhone app put out by Virgin Atlantic, and I encourage others facing fears to find tools to help too. But when you get down to it, one still must do that which is so scary.
So, as I said in the podcast, here’s the deal: if I’m going to fly again, you can to do whatever it is that scares the bejeezus out of you in your business. We’ll both face something really scary together. I bet we’re both better on the other side.
Leslie, well said. I believe that fear is the one thing that keeps many people from reaching their highest goals . . . It’s kinda like we get complaicent and dont push ourselves for fear of being judged – in your case phobia is fear but maybe deeper rooted in some ways – by our peers or being criticized. We want to believe our work is good but putting it out there for other’s to view means we put a piece of ourselves out there too. Really, it’s about making use of the time we have while mortals on earth. Everyday is precious. I remember what it’s like to not have food for many days. After that experience I choose to cherish everything that went into my mouth and fear little but not having food . . . I was happy to be alive and eating. I think many people, myself included, need to be pushed or challenged by something much bigger than ourselves (not code for God) in order to shake us hard enough, make us uncomfortable enough, or hungry enough to move us in a direction that at the time seems scary, but at the end of the day makes us stronger . . . I think we motivate ourselves more my thinking about our relative safety as compared to the rest of the world. We have it good here in the USA. There are people around the world today who would jump on an airplane so fast it would make our heads spin, just to have a chance at life . . . We need to face our fears cuz mostly what we fear is the fear of failure . . . as easy thing to over come … Good luck on your trip, you will do fine, there are much bigger fish to fry and your fear of flying, while huge for you, is not life or death, it’s a fear . . .
I’m here to tell you that you can make cold calls, leave messages, not hear back from people, hear the dreaded word “no” from those who do answer the phone, and you’ll still live. Really. You will live.
And, once you have a few cold calls under your belt, you’ll develop a fearlessness that you never had before. You’ll get to the point where you’ll say “I need to get some no’s today.” Which means that it’s time to start hitting the phones, getting rejected, and then…
…someone says YES.
It’s happened to me and it will happen to you too.