This may seem a bit of an odd topic for this blog, but really, it’s not. Anger is something we all face, but I’ve found that it doesn’t generally do much good. Seems the science backs my attitude on this.
I used to be much angrier. I took things very personally and suffered often from what could be called “righteous anger.” That’s a big family trait on my mother’s side. Seething, bitching…”It’s not fair!” and “It shouldn’t be like that!” are popular exclamations. Lots of “passion” but, really, nothing ever felt better or got accomplished–I mean, afterwards, I would just feel tired…and still angry.
My father, however, has always been very level-headed and even when things seemed overwhelmingly “wrong” he would always try to see both sides. I started studying Buddhism, learned to let go of my seething, etc., and in the process have become very much like my dad. It turns out that my barely Protestant father is, in some ways, a natural-born Buddhist. Go fig. Treat everyone with respect at all times, even when you disagree with them completely–that seems to be Dad’s way, and I think it’s a good way.
My point is, these days it is very, very easy to get angry. Venting and writing nasty blog posts (which, yes, I still do sometimes–I’m not perfect!!!) and digging in your heels won’t do much good. Instead, I think looking for solutions is much more productive.
For example, the C-Registry.us problems I posted about a couple of days ago. Since that post, I have spoken with several people, including Randy from that site, and things are changing. I’m not sure where this will end, but by being polite and open to discussion, I think ALL sides on the issue have a very good chance at reaching a good place.
I could have just decided that no matter what he was a bad guy and the company was bad and railed and railed against it, or I could look at what was good and what was bad, and then help try to get things fixed.
In business, being open to seeing the problems and trying to find solutions and/or ways of mitigating those problems makes more sense than just getting angry and complaining about it. Righteous anger is still anger, and it doesn’t help–it ends up being “cutting off your nose to spite your face.” Instead remember that your “enemy” is only an imperfect human, just like you, and try to find a way through it. You’ll find you can then talk with them and, when you let go of the anger, hear them when they talk too. Your business will be the better for it.