I’ve noticed that since I’ve started law school, I’ve ticked off some people by some of what I have been writing both here and in other places. I think I’ve figured out why: when you study law you have to take both sides of any issue. That is, you have to be able to see and to argue both sides, even if one makes your skin crawl. So, I write posts defending the actions of Jill Greenberg and write things that could be read as defenses of the Orphan Works bills–I argue the other, less popular side of these issues, and that just ticks some folks off.
Too bad. I think everyone should be forced to learn this kind of thinking–seeing and debating both sides, that is. It is incredibly eye-opening. It also matches up surprising well with some of the Buddhist philosophy and techniques I have studied.
For me, at least, it has taught me to have more compassion for those with whom I disagree. I can see their points, respect them, and still choose not to adopt them, but I do it with a calmer mind and less animosity. It helps me to learn respect and compassion for people who have other priorities and concerns–some I would never have though of before.
This is important for you to consider. Your clients have very different concerns and priorities than you do and so their needs and demands can be very, very different from yours. This can create conflict, unless you try to understand them from their perspective. Understanding that the AB who isn’t calling you back about your estimate is not even thinking about you because she has an Account Exec. who is giving her grief over what he sees as an unreasonable photo budget and is arguing with her that she should be able to get the shoot done for half that, for example. Add in the fear that her job is on the line because the company is cutting back and suddenly, you can understand her better when she finally does call, only to say “can you do this for half?”
Instead of getting angry, if this happens why not try asking “What’s going on in your world that makes you ask me to do that? Have you got a crazy AE breathing down your neck or something?” That starts a conversation. Then you can talk about steps to try and make things work–maybe the AB can shuffle the budget from other parts of the project and you can find ways to cut production costs and, working together, you can get to a place where you are both content.
Studying law (so far) has taught me, rather surprisingly, that it’s not about winning or losing, but doing the best you can to find a solution. To do that, you need to understand the other side at least as well as your own and sometimes the results are not at all what you expect.
Oh, and as for honking people off, well, I’m sure I’ll keep doing that. It is interesting, though, that the more people got angry with me, the more people signed up to my free Manuals list. In other words, I scared off a few but gained more than I lost.