There is a regular poster on the PDN Forum who hates me. This guy, whom I have never met, is almost scary with his devoted loathing of me. He goes so far as to have in his standard post sig a link to his website followed by “LBDA not welcome” and he even wrote a post where he quoted me, from a completely different forum, as having said his site looks cheap (which, btw, it does–I was writing in response to someone who specifically mentioned this guys site and asking if he had good ideas about marketing) and accused me slandering him, etc. (which I did not–I only said his site looks cheap/low-end).
The only reason for this utter hatred, as far as I can tell, is because I disagree with some of his contentions about the best way to do business.
Yesterday, this guy posted a question/statement on the PDN Forum. Another photographer responded. I responded. The guy deleted the thread (which you can do when you are the original poster) then reposted the thread, but only with his original post and the other photographer’s response. I posted asking why he did that, and he did it again. I pointed out that the purpose of the forum was the exchange of ideas, how I was trying to help, and he deleted the thread entirely and permanently.
What a waste of energy. I feel sorry for this man who spends so much of his time hating me. I don’t hate him. I’m confused by his actions and wonder about his motivation, but I don’t hate him. In fact, I hope he opens his eyes some day to see that the information I offer can actually help him be more successful.
I know people like this. In fact, there are members of my family who would rather fight than learn and who hold onto a position so tightly that they hate anyone who disagrees with them. I used to be like this too, and what a waste of energy that was! It was a wonderful day when I finally learned that by letting go of my anger and hatred those people lost all their (perceived) power over me.
This is a good lesson for your business. When someone tell you something you disagree with, notice that you disagree and look at it dispassionately. Are there some valid points in the argument, on both sides? Can you find common ground? Can you learn something maybe from what this person is telling you, even if you don’t really want to hear it?
You can’t grow unless you challenge your thoughts and beliefs at least a bit.
L – You must have tripped over a big insecurity cable of his. Why else would he get so emotional? IMHO, it takes a solid level of maturity and confidence to absorb contrary opinions. “On-Set” is one of the hardest places to be when dissenting opinions are expressed don’t you agree? I’ll bet your guy in question is a terror to work with.
I noticed one of his postings a few weeks ago and thought it strange, odd, weird.
Fantastic post; this is an excellent topic. People can get so much further if they follow this advice (and I include myself in that group – I’m always working on listening to disapproval and disagreement with a more open mind).
Leslie,
I’m sorry to see the fray going on.. believe me.. you have got a ton of support, there are lots of people who love what you do and the advice you give. I’m sure by now this is no longer “under your skin” (if it really ever was). Thanks for all your great work. Saw you lecture back in the spring at a Washington, DC ASMP meeting. Great stuff. I would recommend attending any of Leslie’s lectures highly to any and all photographers/creatives.. or anyone that works for a living. The advice is well.. just human, sane and real.
Best,
Forrest
It seems like your new arch-enemy said far more about himself than about you in his post – and it was good to see the other posters defending your (considerable) reputation.
Leslie, you are so much better than this person, why even lower yourself to his level. You know the story about trying to teach a pig to sing, the pig just gets angry and you get dirty. If he is doing well, best wishes to him, and the rest of us that read what you write we wouldn’t want you to change a thing.