This week, especially today, I’m feeling like I have run head-first into the proverbial wall. All the little annoyances are piling up and combining to screw up my dreams even more when I do sleep, but I’m not sleeping well anyway, and the Santa Ana winds are dying me out so much that I feel hungover though I haven’t had a drop to drink.

Hell, if I’m going to feel this bad (head-filled-with-mercury feeling) I’d at least like the pleasure of tying one on. :-) 

But still, even feeling like poo I have been getting more exercise first thing in the morning to try and help the old bod stay in shape and weather the stresses. Aerobic activity and the business news, a combo more befitting a true capitalist, but I’m fascinated by what is happening in the markets and the economy. Anyway, I’m hoping this added exercise will translate into more energy, not less. So far, I think the lack of really good sleep is winning unfortunately. C may get banished to the guest room for a night or two for some quiet sleep for me.

Classes are actually okay. I’ve survived the first memo in Legal Skills–tonight I only have to triple-check my Bluebook citation formats and print the sucker. That means turning it in a day early and having only to show up for CivPro on Friday (our Contracts pro is lectuing in LA or something so we get a day off). Ahhhh. I’m pretty well caught up on my outlines, except for CivPro but that will definitely happen this weekend (I was waiting to get through personal jurisdiction before really formalizing that one and we’re just about there). I’ve purchased some flashcards to get moving on memorizing the memorizable well in advance of any exams.

But still, I have that feeling I’m not doing enough. This seems to be a normal feeling for 1Ls, though. As are the wacky dreams.

Add to all that I’m doing the large expenditure I’m about to make (new MacBook…finally!!!!) and the release of my newest book (to pay for that ‘puter, thankyouverymuch), and, well, I’ve definitely hit the mental wall. At least for today. I bet by the weekend, I’ll be much better. The Santa Ana winds should be gone by then too.

(so don’t worry Dad)

I have a big break between my classes on Mondays. One class at 9:25 and the next one isn’t until 2:40. Normally, this gives me lots of time to read, work on my outlines, etc., but today I have a meeting at 1:30 with my Legal Studies professor to go over my first draft of my first memo.

I am not looking forward to the meeting and it seems to be creeping into my consciousness while I try to do other work.

I’ve got my memo written and I think it’s okay. In fact, I think it’s pretty good. I think I write well and it definitely addresses the issue, cites relevant authority, and even goes one step beyond what I think most others will be doing. On top of all that, this assignment is graded credit/no credit, so it’s not like I have to worry about getting a high grade on it. And yet, I’m in knots over it. Why? Because this prof is off-putting and one of those people who you couldn’t make happy no matter what you did. I think if she won $1 million, she’d find a way to bitch about it.

So, I guess I’ll work on it some more, to make sure there is as little even vaguely wrong with it as possible. Hopefully, I’ll find some way to please the woman and just be DONE with the assignment.

Hopefully.

You can tell it must be fall by how insanely hot it is here! Yes, these are Santa Ana conditions and yes, there is the chance the city could burst into flames (again) at any time. Have you noticed the humidity?

This is autumn in San Diego. Unbearably hot and dry during the day. But the skies are an amazing blue.

(image from the weatherchannel.com at 2pm today)

Hopefully, Apple will announce new MacBooks in one week. Even more hopefully, they will be waiting in the stores that day. My iBook is getting buggier by the day, so a new machine would be lovely.

Not that I have a grand lying around to drop on anything these days. It’s amazing how fast you become poor when you quit working and go back to school. Thing is, it’s not like I’m doing nothing for the biz–it’s just not generating much (any) income. Hopefully the new book will change that some. I’m waiting for my test copy to arrive (probably next Monday) and if it’s okay, it will hit the market.

Anyhoo, back to poverty. It sucks, of course, but I’ve always been fairly frugal so I’m good at it. The hard part now is giving up getting my hair professionally colored (sorry Dad–I refuse to be as grey as I am naturally). I love my stylist, but I just can’t justify paying the large bucks. I can do it for 25% of the price (or less) myself. It’s things like that that I miss.

I don’t buy lunch (pack my own) and I’ve been making ginormous pots of soup (or pasta or something) on the weekend, so the food bill isn’t as bad as it could be, too. And of course I’m saving lots of money on gas since I almost never drive anymore.

But I’m getting a bit tired, already, of it. I have been getting shopping urges. I rarely like to go shopping (except maybe for shoes) but lately I’ve been having a hard time not running out to one of the discount places or something! 

I think it’s all just law school hangover–like the constant cravings for dark chocolate M&Ms and just about any salty snack. 

This too shall pass. 

And if I get a new MacBook, that should satisfy my “I want something new” craving for quite a while.

Damn I’m tired. I’m not staying up late or anything, but my sleep does seem to be less peaceful than before I started school. Besides general stress, which can make sleep less refreshing anyway, I have the extra bonus points of my classes sneaking into my already screwed-up dreams. For example, the other night I was reading, in bed, a comedic novel that had undead characters in it. Just to get my mind out of the lawbooks and to try to relax before sleep. That night I dreamt about whether the rights of a finder (a current topic in my Property class) would be the same for the undead or how they might vary.

This is some seriously warped thinking and I believe it is not letting me get really good rest.

Christopher’s snoring and Benito’s kicking me in the head (he pushes me off my pillow) don’t help. I can put in earplugs for the snoring, but the cat, well, that I can’t really do anything about that (and besides, it is darn cute and heartwarming to have a purring kitty snuggling up to me). 

So here I am, on a day when I have extra time because of optional student/professor meetings in Contracts (so no formal class), and I just can’t seem to get myself moving. I’m just tired.

However, overall I do feel better than I had been feeling–mentally at least. I think I’m starting to find my groove when it comes to the coursework, which is fantastic compared to where I was at. I had been feeling terribly muddled–like I never quite had my feet under me though I also was not ever lost or completely clueless. I’d almost rather be completely lost than having that niggling feeling that I was just barely missing something. Now I’ve got my outlines started and things are fitting into place. I’m past the most annoying of the Legal Skills busy-work assignments and, though it is still my least favorite class, I can get through it with an effort more in line with what it should be (it was taking up way too much time). 

So, a bit more caffeine for me this morning, perhaps, and then I’m off to read for CivPro this afternoon.

For the first time, I have entered the Student Lounge in the basement of the main classroom building (I usually hang out upstairs instead). It’s a big room, with lots of comfy chairs, tables, couches, and a tv (there is a separate room nearby with fridges and nukes).

The tv is, appropriately, tuned to Court TV (or whatever it is called now). Right now, the current O.J. trial is on live. Seems fitting.

I had another “busy work” assignment for my Legal Skills class. This one was to teach us how to citate, aka Sheparize, a case. That is, basically, how you check the case law surrounding the issue in your case to make sure that the cases you are citing to back up your point are still good law. This is important stuff to learn, but the frustrating part about it is that my professor insists that we learn how to do it using books when it is much faster and more complete to do it online (we do learn the online system too).

I thought maybe I was being whiny about doing it in books, but then I tried to complete the assignment. I could not find the correct book to start the process. I could find books that covered cases around the case I had to so, but not it. After trying twice on my own in the library, I decided to ask the reference librarian for help. She couldn’t find it either! She had just as much trouble as I had in deciphering what book covered what, etc., and in the process she said that in all her experience in law firms she never once saw anyone use the books–it’s been done electronically for years now. She continued, saying that she knew who my prof was because she was the only one who kept on teaching the old method and “I have no idea why she does that anymore–it’s just a waste of everyone’s time.” I felt much better hearing that. 

Searching seems to be a theme for me these days. Besides all the research I have to do for class, I have also been searching for some way to not kill myself in the process of going to school and doing all the work. I’m not doing so great on that. Yesterday, Christopher’s birthday no less, I was so ravenous when I got home that I ate a bunch of junk and then when I took him out to dinner I got ill from having over-eaten. I’m having trouble eating well when I’m on campus for anywhere between 7 and 11 hours a day (one shorter day of only about 4.5, including commute) and getting exercise, besides walking to/from bus and up/down stairs to class, just isn’t happening enough. It’s tough, finding the balance. 

Suggestions are welcome.

I meant to write a nice long post over the weekend…but I didn’t.

I also meant to swim, get some other exercise, clean my office, pay some bills, organize some notes, get ahead in my reading, and do a few other things.

I didn’t.

I did get the kitchen and livingroom floors cleaned, managed to get to the grocery, made a huge pot of baked pasta, and I did do my prep for class today, but that is about all I accomplished.

I have officially hit the wall. 

Friday, we had to go to Jake’s 40th surprise party, which was lovely. Saturday was Lynn’s 80th surprise party, and that took up most of that day. Sleep is not something that I am getting enough of (I sleep, but I dream about classes mostly) so when I got up on Sunday I felt exhausted and hung-over, which was quite impossible (the hung-over part) as I had imbibed one-half of a Miller at Lynn’s event. Exhausted was entirely possible.

This week promises to be crazy-busy as well. Luckily, our honors instructor was at the library early today so I got my Legal Skills work signed off early and turned in. 

During my big break between classes on Monday, I thought I’d get the next Legal Skills “busywork” assignment done, but I just found that to be impossible. Just about every other 1L is in the library now and the books I need are needed for other assignments in other sections and, well, they aren’t on the shelves. Crap. I can find just about everything online, but we are supposed to use the books for parts. Silly, frustrating, and a waste of my time.

Well, I do have other work to do, so I guess I’ll do that instead. But that does mean I’ll have to stop writing this now.

I just got home from Lynn’s (mother-in-law) 80th surprise party. I left early to get some reading done but Christopher stayed, of course. When I got home, there was an official looking envelope in the mailbox. It was from the CA Architectural Board–results from C’s latest test for which we have been waiting since August. I called him to let him know the envelope had arrived. He had me open it (thank god because I was dying to know but wouldn’t open it without permission). He passed! That makes seven passed. Only two (and the orals) to go. Woo hoo!

In law school, you are told repeatedly that you must make outlines for your courses. An outline should include the material you learn for each course, assembled into some logical sequence so that you can grasp the course as a whole and understand how the individual cases you study work together. There are commercial outlines, but we are warned to avoid these. Logically, that makes sense as it is in the process of developing your outline that your repeatedly process the material and, thus, learn it. Just reading over a pre-made outline probably wouldn’t help, much.

The problem for me is that I have never been an outliner. I never use them when I am writing–never have. I remember in my first quarter of undergrad I had a professor who said that we had to write a short paper and that the outlines would be due in a week, “You are not required to write an outline, but I have never had a student get an A on this project without doing the outline.” I skipped the outline and when he handed back the final papers he said “Once again, those who did not write an outline did not get an A.” I looked down at my paper, saw a bright red A, and lifted my hand. “You don’t count,” he said, jokingly. 

This reinforced my “I don’t do outlines” attitude and I made it through undergrad and grad school without a single outline.

Now, however, I am giving them a shot. I spent a good part of today starting my course outlines. I’m using OmniOutliner which is a Mac app that is very user-friendly. I can attach my briefs to the outlines, even, which is very helpful. I have good starts on Property and Criminal, an the slightest framework for Contracts. CivPro, however, eludes me as yet. I don’t feel like we have covered enough material to know how to organize it all…yet.

Speaking of CivPro, after class on Friday I heard several of my classmates saying how they felt lost or like they were really struggling in that class. Me, I love it. My two favorite classes are Contracts and Civ Pro because I feel like there is always something more about each case to understand–lots of twists and the back stories are interesting. It takes a lot more work to prepare for class and some of the rules are written in the most obscure English so that I feel like I’m looking up every-other word, but it’s still fascinating to me.

Property runs in third position and Criminal is my least favorite of the substantive courses. Property has some interesting bits, but Criminal is much more black-and-white–here are the elements, did the accused cover all the elements, if so then s/he’s guilty. Ho-hum. Legal Skills is my least favorite class of all–I feel like it’s a lot of babying and hand-holding for stuff we should be able to pick up pretty easily. I mean, how many times can we be told that we have to be careful to follow the rules when we cite and that those rules are all in the Bluebook. Yeah, I get it already… can I go read my CivPro? No, I have to do exercises in the library comparing the opinions in official reporters and unofficial ones and identifying where in the library one can find the Pacific Reporter. Feels like kindergarten work–what, next will we be coloring in a line drawing of a digest? Yawn.

Anyway, when my classmates were bemoaning CivPro, I expressed my enjoyment of it. You’d have thought I said “I like to put babies on giant spikes,” they way people stared at me. People seemed really surprised, but I took that as a good thing. Besides, it’s okay if they think I’m weird, I know I’m a big geek.