Recently, a member of the extended family died–Christopher’s brother’s wife’s mother. It wasn’t a big surprise and could be considered a blessing as she had Alzheimer’s with a concurrent heart condition. Still, as Trish (the wife/daughter in this equation) was an only child and fatherless, this was a serious blow. My gut reaction was to make golumpki.

As a kid, every time there was a death of a friend or neighbor or the like, my mother would make golumpki for the bereaved family. She’s make it at other times, too, but it was pretty much a sure bet: death = golumpki.

Anyway, my first question for Christopher, after he got off the phone and told me the news, was “When is the funeral?” so I could prep the dish. He didn’t know. We didn’t hear for days. After a week, we finally got word of the mass and were informed that bringing food would not be needed or even wanted. I told him to double-check. He did–no food.

I was very confused. Death meant cooking. Must feed the living and everyone not directly touched by death should supply the edibles. My genes were telling me it was absolutely wrong not to be cooking, but we were assured that the food was completely taken care of, so we went empty-handed.

Turns out they had the event catered–that is, the food was brought in, but there were no servers or anything. After the mass, C’s brother picked up a load of pre-ordered (and very tasty) Mexican food and at their house his sister Janeen finished preparing a big Caesar-ish salad she had brought. Trish had, apparently, bought some cakes and candies for dessert.

I was miffed (there is a history of me not being permitted/asked to cook for family events), but it was not the time to think of my feelings and, instead, got to work helping out however I could. I set up the food on the buffet table, cleaned up after everyone ate, put away the leftovers, washed dishes, and reset the buffet for coffee and dessert.

No one else got off their butts to do a thing–except Trish, which was, I think, wrong. None of the cousins (Janeen’s kids) or Trish’s cousins…nada. In my book, the closest family members, the most bereaved, shouldn’t have to do a damn thing at a funeral/wake thing. I was glad I was there to help, but I don’t understand why others weren’t stepping in. Different strokes, I guess.

Anyway, the golumpki idea has been in my head since then. So, today, I made some. I used turkey instead of beef/pork, but everything else traditional is in there: peppers, onions, garlic, rice, and a good tomato sauce with sauerkraut and vinegar for the top.

Sure, it seems wrong to be making golumpki when it’s 86º with 11% humidity and Santa Ana winds, but they’re tasty cold later too. And if I wait for it to get cold here before I make ‘em, I may die first.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 21st, 2007 at 2:30 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.