The weather guys out here still make me laugh. Today, we’re having unusually warm temperatures around here—87 when the average is 69. Of course, there is no humidity—most places are in the 10-20% range. Well, the weather guy on the NBC affiliate just said that it felt really hot in the middle of the day today because of a brief period of high humidity. He went on to say, “The humidity nearly doubled in some places!”

Let’s do the math on that. The highest humidity in the region was around 20%. Doubled, that would be 40%. High humidity? I don’t think so.

And then there is the weather broad (not the babe, she’s a different one) on the CBS affiliate. I think she’s a weekend person and, well, she’s an idiot. The other day she pointed to a watch box over the center of the US and said, “As you can see there is a large tornado warning area covering parts of Oklahoma and Texas.” Hun’, if that’s a tornado warning then it’s the friggin’ apocalypse. I’ve heard her do that before—completely screws up the difference between watches and warnings. She should get it right too because we do get severe weather out here…just usually in the deserts (storms) or mountains (winter storms).

A couple of days ago I was watching the ABC affiliate’s evening news. They have the happiest weather dudes of all the stations. The morning guy is positively jolly and the evening guy is smart, knows it, but still seems like he’d be happy to sit and have a beer with you. So anyway, I’m watching the evening weather dude and he says that it was the first official day of the dry season in San Diego.

Huh? And when exactly was the wet season?

He went on to kindly explain “to those of you new to the area” (lucky I caught this one—I wouldn’t have believed it) that we should expect little to no significant rainfall until Thanksgiving.

Seven months plus…little to no significant rainfall…my brain couldn’t handle it.

They got 7 inches of rain in Louisiana some place yesterday and that was “around double” what San Diego has received in the past two YEARS. Before I left Columbus last summer it rained almost every day for a month—bad, severe thunderstorms almost every afternoon and evening! Flooding, end-of-the-world-type rains. And now I live in a place where it is entirely possible to get less than 4 inches in a year.

Eep.

At least that explains the variety in the weather reporters here (the entertainment factor) and why I’ve watched them all. I’m still in that Midwest mindset where you need to see what the weather will be like tomorrow in order to plan your activities, clothes, etc., and you’d better watch again in the morning because it could have changed overnight! Here, well, if you guess above 65 and no rain, most likely sunny, you’re pretty damn safe.